What Baby Dan taught 12 y/o Jamie...

That I use almost every day with clients in the studio.

My little brother is getting married this week. Even though I left for college when he was six, we have managed to stay pretty close.

When he was very little, Mom would often ask me to put him down for a nap or at bedtime. My pre-teen self took a lot of pride in this task. Mom said I was the best at it. Whether that was true or not, I didn’t care. I liked the snuggle time, still do. A few years later, I thought Mom was a genius and just told me those things so that two of the four crazy Miller kids were occupied and quiet.

A few years later, Danny was very particular about how far open the door could be. If the hallway light hit the window, that would alert the aliens where he was. Obviously, we had to close the door a little to block the hall light to keep them out. He typically asked for a few drinks and inevitably something needed an adjustment. There were some other little routines and specifications that I can’t remember any more. It was 30+ years ago. He’s busy at his bachelor party right now or I’d ask him these very important questions.

Last year (2023), both my grandparents passed away within months of each other. They were awesome and both lived a very long healthy happy life well into their 90s (Gma was 94 and Gpa was days away from his 99th birthday) and married for 70+ years. I’m so lucky to have them in my life for so long. Anyways…..there were all sorts of old family photos flying around before/after their services. Danny was sleeping on me in a handful of them. Maybe Mom wasn’t just blowing smoke.

I vividly remember figuring out how I got him to go sleep. I would purposefully slow my breathing and his breathing would slow as well. If I slowly grazed my finger down the slope of his nose, his eyes would close. Over the years I did a lot of baby sitting and have successfully kept my own kids alive into their teens, this seems super obvious to me now. But I was 12-13 at the time, so these were pretty advanced sleepy time techniques.

The thing that would knock him out within minutes is something that I ask of clients in almost every Pilates/PT session. Hang around the studio and you’ll hear me say “soften the sternum” or “decrease tension in the front of the chest” or "melt on exhale". This little maneuver has an impact on quite a few things:

—improving thoracic spine mobility

—decreasing head, neck, shoulder tension

—increasing the vagus nerve activity (main nerve that heads down to the gut)

—inhibiting the sympathetic nervous system, stimulating the parasympathetic nervous system (in simpler terms ramping up the digest & rest, tamping down the flight/fight/freeze)

—activating the rib attachments of serratus anterior

Young Jamie didn’t have a clue what any of that stuff was, but Danny would pass out as soon as I sunk into the couch, bed, or chair. I would try to get really heavy and unknowingly got my body to do all that stuff, causing little baby Danny’s body to relax. I fell asleep with him most of the time, especially when he moved into a bed.

Who knew? Happy wedding day, Danny & Julia! Can’t wait to celebrate!

These pictures bring back a flood of memories, except I have no idea where this blue furniture was. I guess it could have been a blanket or something, but I don't remember it at all. This was summer of 1989.

This picture was taken in our conversion van while most likely cruising highway 70 in Kansas on a road trip to Denver. Danny looks around a year old. In typical 80s fashion, he is not in a car seat. We are sleeping on the pull out couch/bench seat in the back of the van. There is no way I’m buckled in and Bobby surely isn’t either.

Also: My mom made that blanket, Bobby and his sweet hair cut perfect an early version of a photo bomb, I had bangs for way too long in grade school.

Danny appears to be 4 or 5 years old here. I’m 16/17 I think, fully based on the white checkered umbras I was obsessed with during high school. I don’t know why, but Danny would sit on us to watch TV a lot. That couch was huge, but with six family members, maybe that was the only spot left? That couch went on to live with all of the Miller siblings at some point in college and a few cousins. It was awesome. Towards the end, it was missing legs, the pullout couch section no longer existed. I’m sure the were burn holes and god only knows what else.

last one......

Summer of 1989 at the Pipefitters’ pool, where we would have one epic summer day every year, swimming, fishing, eating, playing wiffleball/baseball with the Miller cousins. Most of Danny's childhood was probably just like this, older sibs dragging him along to whatever we were doing whether he liked it or not. Doesn’t appear he enjoyed swimming that day.